This game of connect the dots is a fool-proof way of figuring out what is going on with your favorite NFL team. It works a little something like this . . .
The 49ers interviewed Dan Reeves, who coached Michael Vick. The 49ers interviewed Hue Jackson, who almost coached Michael Vick.
Jackson and Reeves never coached together, but they coached for the same organization (Falcons).
Jackson would have coached Vick in 2007 if Vick hadn't been caught and imprisoned on federal dogfighting charges.
Oh, yeah, the 49ers also signed defensive back Jimmy Williams, who has a battle on his hands to win a roster spot. Williams arrived at Virginia Tech two years after Vick's career concluded.
Put all that together and it seems obvious to me that the 49ers have decided to acquire Vick when/if he is able to resume his career after serving his sentence, as well as any suspension Roger Goodell might impose.
But that is not all I've learned in recent days:
--The 49ers' plan to go after Vick was actually Plan B. The first idea was to acquire Daunte Culpepper and Randy Moss, and build a dome to replace Candlestick.
This would've been the plan if Scott Linehan had just said yes to the 49ers' offer to become offensive coordinator. Linehan was coordinator of a top-4 ranked Vikings offense for three consecutive seasons with Culpepper and Moss as his main weapons under the roof of the Metrodome. But when Linehan declined the 49ers' offer, the 49ers had no other choice but to rip apart that plan and begin their planning to get Vick.
--The 49ers will do whatever's necessary to select Ole Miss offensive lineman Michael Oher in the draft.
Oher's first year in college was 2005. That is the same season that Micheal Spurlock concluded his Ole Miss career. The 49ers signed Spurlock to a contract this week. Hel-LOOOO! I mean, can you even conceive a scenario in which the 49ers would sign Spurlock if it wasn't already a done deal that they'd soon be getting Oher? All you have to do is connect the dots on this one. Oh, yeah, and Patrick Willis is already on the team. This one is just way too easy.
--The 49ers plan to lure Hall of Fame quarterback Joe Montana out of retirement.
Coach Mike Singletary hired Tom Rathman to join his staff as running backs coach. Singletary is being just a little too obvious about his intentions. Obviously, the best way to get Montana out of retirement is to hire a former teammate to the staff. You read it here first.
Singletary has not announced Shaun Hill will be the starter in 2009 for one very good reason. How can Hill be the starter with Montana on the team?
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See how this game works? Feel free to play along.
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This is the funniest Blog/Article I have read in a long, long time. Your impression of all the rediculous sports writers is spot on. I was thinking the exact same thing when the "Vick" stories came out. What a bunch of losers those writers are.
Great Writing!!!
Jerry Rice just announced that he will sign with the 49ers for one year and expect to get the Super Bowl ring this year. However, John Taylor declined the invite as he really had enough Jerry for so long and he doesn't want to work behind the shadow any more. He may want to sign with the Raiders to be their head coach. Oh, I also heard that Jimmy Johnson will retire from the broadcast and come to Santa Clara to interview the OC job. Let's see how all these will develop....
I thought with Singletary we would end up with Jim McMahon as OC and Richard Dent as Defensive Coord.
Ditka and Buddy Ryan could be a cheerleaders.
That's thinking underneath the box, Matt. Sneaky. I might as well leak the reason we signed Justin Roland recently, which the Niners cleverly slipped under the radar. It's because he's a Kansas State guy, which is where Darren Sproles played, and we all know Singletary wants another runner. Pretty elementary.
I've finally figured out why JT O'Sullivan was given such a long leash this year. The 49ers REALLY need a deep-threat receiver. Enter: Calvin Johnson. Knowing that Johnson is the next Jerry Rice, and that he has caught passes from JTO, the 49ers decided to curry favor with Johnson by giving his old teammate the chance of a lifetime: a starting job. Though JTO flamed out, the 49ers' stock rose in Johnson's eyes. I wouldn't be surprised if Calvin Johnson reaches out to the 49ers front office some time in the next few months.
Thanks, Matt, for putting all this nonsense into its proper perspective!!!!
The whole drama of Michael Vick sounds like a CSI episo with all the traces link together. Jackson-Reeves -William, etc. Actually, the media did not know one more link: Scott McCloughan has adopted a dog (the survivor from one of Vick's dog fightings) Enough evident that Vick will become the new Niners QB?
Funniest blog since the time you broke down the percentage chance the Niners would draft various players.
Barrows reports Reeves no longer in town. Does this mean we get to let sleeping dogs lie? Wait, I forgot--their not sleeping, their dead.
Barrows reports Reeves no longer in town. Does this mean we get to let sleeping dogs lie? Wait, I forgot--they're not sleeping, they're dead. Rats.
So how about Y.A. Tittle--could we bring him out of retirement?
The 49ers are loading up ammo to trade for disgruntled Cowboys' receiver.
-Many thought Coach Singletary hired his nephew Vantz as a family favor. However, the truth is that Vantz worked for some time at the University of Tennessee in Chattanooga, where Owens is an alum. In addition, the presence of former Eagles teammate Michael Lewis is expected to help lure the former Niner back to the bay. The team also intends to extend the contract of TE Vernon Davis as the dealbreaker. Team insiders tell us that Davis was asked to stay in to block last season on passing downs and intentionally drop passes so that Owens would know that he could be coming to a team where the TE doesn't get the ball and where he won't lead the team in drops. The ever-so-competitive Owens has also secretly told those around him that he would love to hold a sit-up competition in his driveway with Davis. We are also hearing rumblings that Owens would like to mentor Davis, who he feels could have been sent to the locker room more often if he could have planned more elaborate on-field celebrations.
As a 49er Fan from the minute i started breathing, this has got to be some of the worst rumors going around. Why would a team that prides its self on excellence and winning entail itself in something as random as waiting for Vick to return, building a dome, then going for either randy moss and culpepper???? or calvin johnson??? The day this were to happen would be a very sad day for the 49ers Faithful. It means Mission FAIL. Lets just shoot in the dark and hope our team can rebuild itself by just getting players that used to play with each other and May or May Not work again. Skill wise we can compete with anyother team. Our O-line, D-line, and defensive backs need more improvement, and a secure leader that the entire team can look to to win the game. Shaun Hill has proved to be awsome, he wants to play, and was jipped out of a starting job thanks to ANOTHER gamble gone wrong:Mike martz and JTO. Mike Vick can suck my toe, go to hell, or do whatever he wants to do in his spare time. But the day hes Starting QB for the 49ers new Dome team, is the day all hope is lost and anyone that loves real championship caliber football better start looking for THEIR Plan B. i heard the Steelers stick with thier roots and its still taking them places.
That. Was. AWWWESOME!
Any word on what the departure of Chrissy Mauck portends?
Is she going to Detroit????
Dubbz3030, I have a bridge to sell you. Really! Oh, and I can save your home from foreclosure too! Just send me $15000 and the deed to your house...
Confirmed: Elvis has agreed to sing the star-spangled banner PLUS You Ain't Nuthin But a Hound Dog at all home games if the 9ers get Vick.
dubbz, you are a great actor! Wow!!! I totally beleive that you don't get it. Bravo! Too bad the Academy Award nominations are already out. Don't worry about Vick being our QB, we're going to get Cesar Milan to be his QB coach.
QUESTION: Matt, DB J Williams was HIGHLY touted in the draft, he fell to #37, then two seasons later was out of the league. The Niners just signed him. Can you get a story on him?
If the 49ers hire a felonious pet abuser, dog murdering psychopath like Vick, I am done -- twenty + years of following this team, I am done, and I am not alone.
You might as well move them to L.A., there is no way an animal killer like Piece of Vick will ever be welcome here.
You can also go to a 49ers forum to find a myriad of 'impossible' potential such things.
You are not as convincing as dubbz.
Well, it is obvious. Our defense has under performed from all the money the 49ers have spent on it. So they will hire Reeves as OC, he will give the franchise some gravitas to get a top DC. Maybe someone Reeves has mentored. Maybe someone like the Broncos DC Nolan can be lured. I think that is the real master plan
I forwarded this post to Adam Schefter of NFL.com who originally posted said speculation:
http://blogs.nfl.com/2009/01/23/are-49ers-angling-for-vick/
Heh.
Traj
This just in from fox sports: Pete Carroll is interviewing for DC position, Mike Holgrem hired as GM, Marriucci QB coach and Mike Shanahan OC. Steve Young has been rumored to come back out of retirement.
I hope we sign Mike Vick just to piss off PETA in SF. However, be prepared for the professional protesters at every home game.
What M.Vick did was wrong and I could never imagine doing it myself, but unlike the self righteous liberal loons I'm not half as bothered by a dog killer as I'm of people who take the life of the innocent unborn. How is what Vick did any different than Bull fighting?
Young up and comer President Jed York has rolled back the clock and plans to show GenX how Uncle Eddie and the Old Schoolers Roll.
In an effort to save the once proud NFL 49ers franchise in SF, nephew to Eddie DeBartolo Jr, has plans to revive fan interest with the New Old School Plan.
In a move deemed, A little Out There, Ron Burgandy and Gold for a new generation, Young Jed may have hit one into McCovey Cove!
Uncle Eddie bought the talent says Jed, but I've got the Bad News Bears being led by Papa Bear himself, Mike Singletary.
The Catch, The Drive, The Stick, will morph into Old School Days by the Bay.
Retreads in new threads, The Glory Days Infomercials, WCO is Left Coast Cool, we're runnin' the rock fool, Alcatraz style.
Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon? You kiddin' me?
7 Degrees of Offensive Coordinators Baby!
Need a job? Think you can be the next NFL OC Idol?
Call Me......I'm listening!
Excellent. I hadn't read the Vick speculation anywhere else, so I actually thought you were serious!
Very well done
49ers New Pitch Man is Ron Burgandy, Rancor Man.
In a PR move to write home about, the SF 49ers unveiled their Old School Mr Cool in his glistening gold suit as he handed out interview numbers at 4949 HQ today.
In these tough times, it's the best way we know, to show the many coaches and unemployed NFL staffers that we care, said young Jed York.
Proud to have the new assignment, Ron Burgandy referred to his new employer as 'wiser then his years', 'He's like a miniature Buddha', he's 'looking out for his temple'.
Ron Burgandy went on to say to the masses gathered at 4949 HQ that those applying for the OC position need to realize the history and glorious past accomplishments of the franchise, and was adamant when he stated the new regime isn't a smash mouth 101 program.
In this Bears' Pit, we're gonna hit them in the Uvula until they say Uncle Eddie!
What's the story on Chrissy Mauck?? - I thought she does (did) a great job for the Niners.
They should bring back Charles Haley again and also Deon with his screwed up toe.
OK Matt fess up! Secretly you have been planning a comeback. Practicing that 3-5-7 foot drop! That explains why Singletary wouldn't name Hill as the starter.
Now starting at QB from Humboldt State Matt Maiocco!
With Singletary's Chicago connection I just heard that he'll be bringing in Ditka as the coach for the kicking game. And with Garcia now a free agent he'll be teaming up again with his old buddy, Owens. ahh, good times. Pacman is available.............
Confirmed: Last night, Reeves was secretly offered the 49er OC position, but declined, explaining that his doctor recommended against further involvement with the NFL. Strangely, he is now reported to be on the way to interview for an unspecified position in Detroit.
Also, Elvis has left the building.
I'm hoping the Cards pull the upset so we can keep the hope alive for being the 1st team to add the 6th Lombardi Trophy to the collection.
Other then that, Troy vs Larry should be classic, go Boldin.
I recall the glory days when we would starve for news when the season was over, now we have the opportunities to beat the snot out of pretty much anything and everything whether it's news worthy or not.
What a world.
Hey Matt, I was doing some number crunching the other day and I was taking a look at the cap figure on Shawntae Spencer. This past year it was 3.7 mill, and he is signed for '09, '10, & '11. Am I correct to assume that the 3.7 mill figure would continue to get bigger each year? If so, do you think the team can/will do anything to address this. And what's really curious to me is how he has figures this high on a 6 year, 12 million dollar contract (or is that figure off).
Is it true? Now, I am concern that Matt may beat out Montana for the 11 steps drop... :-)
OK, back to the dots-
Dan Reeves was a winning member of SB 6, we seek the elusive 6th victory.
He was an assistant to Tom Landry, Tom wore a suit, we just fired one.
As a coach his wins total places him at Number 7, an infamous player's number in Atlanta.
His Falcons appeared in SB 33 which was his 9th.
Our 33 lost a fumble that prevented us from having aforementioned shot at being the 1st to 6.
Reeves was born in Rome in '44. GA that is, and Tom Rathman wore 44, eerie.
The 49ers were founded in 46, Singletary played in a 46 defense.
Atlanta=Arthur Blank, where Matt Ryan (2) replaced Mike Vick (7). Even number over odd number.
SF=John York, where HC's fired (2) indirectly leads to OC vacancies, (7) Absolute Numerologistic-XP-alodocious
Matt, the Dots, they're everywhere!
We're onto something here.
A Bear, a Cowboy/Bronco/Giant/Falcon meet in SF.
The Bear says to the Falcon, how high can we fly?
The Falcon says, I'm too old to fly, perhaps we could hand it off to 21?
Oh, I think I understand now. It's kind of like the Kevin Beacon game where you connect a film to an actor that has Kevin Beacon in it, or was it a Kevin Beacon movie with the actor in it. Well, I didn't like that game either. Do we have an OC yet?
Bingo! and until Matt says we do have an OC, it's still an exercise in Connect the Dots.
I threw the Kevin Bacon reference in here for giggles.
I've been drinkin Jim Beam all night, what've you been sippin on Matt?
Much like the electoral process of the Pope, over at Casa Santa Clara, they gather in the Lombartine Chapel and conduct interviews.
Once all the ballots are tallied, they are burned to produce smoke that alerts the media.
Matt, and others, try to avoid stepping on Adam Schefter, (who has a height advantage), and continually 'scoops' the other reporters by getting to the front of the room ahead of everyone else.
Since Dan Reeves has a connection to Rome, (GA), and Mike being a man of deep faith, there's good reason to use this analogy to papal elections IMO because, the Cardinals are also in a position of authority right now.
Matt of course, being of Italian ancestry, should be granted executive privileges to this story, because the Cardinals also play in his Division.
Once all the Dots are sufficiently connected and the smoke becomes visible, Matt's our Man.
Perhaps there will be bells and music, people parading around the compound in joyous celebration of the long anticipated appointment of SFOC VII.
2009, the Zenith of The Dots, where Bears and Falcons and Cardinals may reign supreme.
E pluribus unum, may our journey conclude in grandeur.
PDJOHNV there's a great song out there from Rob Tognoni called the Jim Beam Blues, check it out.
He's a Blues rocker from Down Under. You can sample his clips and buy direct if you so desire.
www.robtognoni.com
Coach Singletary called me up last night (man the dude just won't let me sleep) and told me, SIIIIKE!! I didn't fire Mike Martz. Man!! I got straight PUNK'D!!
1/25/82, 27 years ago.
Our 1st SB victory.
1/25/09 We announce the hiring of our 7th OC under the York regime?
SFOC VII,
the journey, the challenge, the faithful followers, who drank the Kool Aide in the 80s and chose to commit to the cause.
Here we are, keyboarding in cyberspace, because we exist to connect the Dots!
Rorschach tests for EVERYONE!
Wow, what an article, what a writer.
well
i'm far far away
in italy
nonetheless
i can hear the music and the rythm
and tinaturner on the stage singing
ta na na naaa
MattMaiocco's the best!
ta na na naa
Matt sei un vero figo!
This just in...Linehan to Detriot was a rouse ...when he cut his hair back with the Rams it was an indicator to "Flatop" Rathman ...the plan was in place to meet in San Francisco.You see they are all Masons(which is dead giveway the new stadium will be built on the wharf at North Point and Mason not off Monterey Blvd. on Santa Clara as originally thought!).
Hey Matt, I heard this one a few hours ago.
Apparently there's a distress beacon that once hit it calls all, if not most, Bill Walsh disciples to come back to the mothership (49er's HQ)
So far Homgren, Shanahan, Gruden, and Dungy have responded but thing must be busted.
Was also told that the beacon was only to be used at "Niner's Darkest Hour"...whatever that means
Very funny Matt. This is my problem with the national guys. They have to dream up stories to fill time on TV or in columns. When there isn't much to talk about for a national audience, they have to contrive stories. Any story with Vick's name is going to get alot of internet hits and garner attention on TV. The where will Vick land stories are already starting and hopefully the 9ers are left out of that loop.
You read Eddie D wants to buy the Tampa Bay Bucs.
Because he wants to turn the Bucs into an experimental team to find talents for the power running Niners: A RUGBY style, hook and lateral type offense.
..Eddie also wants to hire Don Nelson as HC to device this offense, that's why Nellie has a defense coordianator now to show he's football savvy.
Rumor has it that Bill Walsh faked his death and moved to Cuba, where he is working on an experimental, run-focused offense he plans to apply to the Forty-Niners through his protege, Mike Singletary.
On another note, credit for this offensive system will be given to Walsh, who will be coaching the Niners through his large, previously unreleased secret playbooks.
Here's an idea for the Niners:
Dan Reeves: Asst Head Coach Offense
Jeff Jagodzinski: Offensive Coordinator
Have Reeves help the offensive game planning with Jag's, and overall head coaching with Singeltary. Let Jag's call the plays, and have Reeves in the booth to assist Jag's and Singletary.
The game of 1+1=3. So Matt, in this age of challenged media integrity, how do you balance the scoops with accuracy? Is it easier now that your established?
GREAT ARTICLE MATT! The real funny thing is some of us think that's what happens when a team doesn't have its hands on the steering wheel. Anybody can grab it and drive it all over the place!
ninerbob, I loved the link to Cesar milan fir Vic.