Mike Singletary carries a notebook around with him and records in it every significant event of every day as it occurs. Call it a life notebook. He spoke to me about it Wednesday afternoon.
Cohn: How often do you make an entry in your notebook?
Singletary: It depends on how many events I have throughout the day; at least three or four times. Every time I meet with a player, every time I have an interview, every time I speak to the team, every time I speak to a coach, every time I have a thought, experience something, learn something.
Cohn: Does that mean you'll have an experience, say in a meeting with coaches, and you'll come back here to your book, or will you do it right there?
Singletary: Most of the time I'll do it right there.
Cohn: The meeting is over. People walk away. You open your book and write something.
Singletary: Yes.
Cohn: Why do you make entries?
Singletary: For a number of reasons. As a leader it's important to know and remember the events throughout the day. I don't want to miss anything. I don't want to say something and not follow up. I don't want something said to me and not write it down, something that I learned. One of my hobbies is listening. I would much rather listen than talk. I'm always interpreting the meaning of something. If something happens I'm not just writing the event. I'm also writing what I learned from it. How was I wrong? I'm going to meet with a player and I had it in my mind what I'm going to say and I meet the player and I hear his heart and I learn, you know what, I was wrong. nine times out of ten I will tell that player, "You know I was thinking this but I was wrong."
Cohn: So part of the function of your entry would be 1) to record; this is what happened. But also 2) an interpretation of the event.
Singletary: Yes.
Cohn: How often do you read over your notebook?
Singletary: Couple of times a week. Just kind of look at where I've been and sometimes the series of events that got me to this point. Sometimes things happen to you and you forget what they felt like those feelings. You go back and you read it and you can take yourself back to that moment. What you wrote can direct you back where you were.
Cohn: And you want to retrieve those feelings.
Singletary: Exactly.
Cohn: Do things not feel real to you until you write them?
Singletary: For me I like to reflect. I like to be in the moment. Let's say if I have a conversation with someone, if I'm dealing with an issue, if I'm speaking to the team, I can be in the moment. Sometimes I can't feel it right then. It's not there. There are things that happen to me that I'm overwhelmed by, thankful for but I don't have time to experience it. So I record it so when I go back I can experience it.
Cohn: You're catching up with yourself.
Singletary: Yes. Yes.
Cohn: Do you keep notebooks in your private life or is it only work related?
Singletary: This works in my private life as well.
Cohn: There might be a conversation you'd have with one of your children.
Singletary: Yes.
Cohn: It's like carrying your memory and your conscience around.
Singletary: (He smiles.) Exactly.
Cohn: How long have you been keeping notebooks?
Singletary: Long time. Probably after I retired as a football player, '93. The best thing that ever happened to me is writing books. (He's written three.) The first book during the Super Bowl year (1985). There were so many feelings that were just on the shelf in my mind that I had not dealt with, hadn't even thought about, just put them on the shelf. Until somebody asked me about them I had emotions I didn't even know I had. I caught myself saying, "I didn't know I felt that way." Sometimes I wasn't mature enough at the time to deal with it. Five, ten years later I could process it.
Cohn: Do you remember the first time you ever made an entry in the first book?
Singletary: It started out with me having conversations with my children and my wife, and then when I would travel and speak to business people or pastors or doctors - used to be a hobby of mine to travel and call someone and say, "I'm very intrigued with what you do. I'd love to have lunch with you." I'd get on a plane if they said yes. I'd talk to them about how do you keep the organization going? How do you make decisions? CEOs and coaches I had many conversations with when I retired.
Cohn: And you would then record a summary of those conversations in your book.
Singletary: Exactly.
Cohn: Do you ever put personal things in your book like I feel angry or I feel sad?
Singletary: No, it's more business oriented. Or if I'm having a significant conversation with one of my children I will put that conversation down. I want to experience that and at the same time get back to my kid and let them know I'm going to follow up, that was important to me. too many times we have conversations with spouses or children and it's important to them but we're moving so fast until we just forget about it. I like to let the kid know - it may be a week later - you know when we were talking about that the other day that was really important to me. Do you mind if we could pick up on that?
Cohn: You're moving fast. I want to stay with that for a minute.
Singletary. OK.
Cohn: You move faster than I do. You've been a coach and a player and football coaches are in a hurry a lot. Maybe your children don't move as fast as you or your wife doesn't move as fast as you. It's reminding you to slow down and come back to their pace.
Singletary: Exactly. When I was playing, that was the greatest lesson I learned a week after I retired. My wife was always saying, "Mike, you're here but you're not here." And I'm saying, "What do you mean? That doesn't make sense to me." And she'd say, "You want to be here but you can't be here because your mind is thinking about the game." And I really did not understand what she was saying until I retired. When I retired, I was sitting there looking at my daughter and I wasn't thinking about football, wasn't thinking about anything else, wasn't thinking about the next season, nothing. And I saw something for the first time and I called my wife. I caught a moment. It was the first time I saw that she recognized - I saw a connection happen - she was playing and all of a sudden there was a color and she wanted that. And for the first time I didn't miss it. I saw it. Got it. I told my wife, "I understand what you were saying." Normally my mind would be somewhere else and I can't see it.
Cohn: You participated in the miracle.
Singletary: Yes.
Cohn: How many of these books have you filled up?
Singletary: Oh, anywhere between 15, 20.
Cohn: Do you have a place for them at home?
Singletary: I keep some of them, but mostly what I do is transfer - like if I got everything out of this I'm done with that and I'll let that go and move on. Some thoughts in there I transfer to the next book I start.
Cohn: The book has a life to it.
Singletary: Yes. It's ongoing.
Cohn: The books that you put aside, in a sense, that business is finished and you continue with the ongoing business in the current book.
Singletary: Yes.
Cohn: Will you throw the books out?
Singletary: Some of the earlier books, yes, I would throw out because some of the things I wrote at the very beginning I began to do. So I didn't need to write that anymore. I graduated from that and move on. Those books I would tear up because I got it. But there are other things like when I talked to my son. Each and every one of my children I've had moments with them that I will continue to transfer to other books, or moments with my wife that I'll continue to transfer to other books until I get it all.
Cohn: In a way the books are growing up along with you.
Singletary: Yes. It's a graduation from one thing to the next.
Cohn: It's a very handsome book.
Singletary: Well, thank you.
Cohn: It's leather and it has gold leaf on the top of the pages. Do you pick book or does your wife?
Singletary: I pick them.
Cohn: What are you looking for?
Singletary: I'm just looking for a leather book. If I can find black I'll take black. Sometimes it's red or green.
Cohn: Do you read other books besides your notebooks?
Singletary: I am an avid reader. (He picks up a bible from the table.) My bible has got a million notes in it. I've gone through many of these. If my wife didn't make me get rid of them, I've got books all over the place that I've read - history, family, about relationships, about kids, about teamwork, about leadership and character. Norman Vincent Peale I've read everything he's ever written. Any self-help book, how to communicate better.
To read my column on Singletary and his book click here.
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